Missouri Porch Pirates Will Have Hell to Pay This Holiday Season

We all have issues that set off our anger. Pet peeves, if you will, that make the skin on the back of your neck turn red. For me, it's porch pirates and I have good news about these fiends. Thanks to new rules, they'll truly have hell to pay for their sins for stealing from Missouri families.

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I was not aware this happened, so kudos to KY3 out of Springfield who recently mentioned that Missouri governor Mike Parsons quietly passed new legislation this past July that will bring the hammer down on people that rob others by fast-grabbing delivered items from their porch.

What's this new Missouri law that will punish porch pirates?

The report says that now it's a Class E felony to steal property delivered by a carrier. My inner Chuck Norris is screaming "YEAH!". The Missouri Sentencing Advisory Commission says that's punishable by up to 4 years in prison. This is my inner Ghost Rider saying "GUILTY!".

All theft is awful, but I suppose it's not as bad as violent crime that directly harms people. However, I have more than one Missouri friend who has had children's gifts snatched who couldn't necessarily afford to replace them. That's likely why the back of my neck is red even talking about this subject.

The good news is it looks like those caught trying to rip off Missouri people will face a more painful slap on their thieving wrists this year at least. Where's Batman when you need him?