Whoever comes up with these safest city rankings really should incorporate statistics involving turtles in my opinion. This is a great example. A place in Missouri that is regularly named among the safest place in the state is actually full of vicious snapping turtles and I can prove it with science.

Get our free mobile app

I'm not questioning the accuracy of the newest Safewise 20 Safest Cities in Missouri conclusion. They do factor in a lot of FBI data to figure out the safest places to live in the Show Me State. At #2 on their list, you'll see Greenwood, Missouri. It's very safe (allegedly).

If you look at the Google Street View of Greenwood, you'll notice they're very proud of ending up on all these safe lists. Notice their sign brags about their inclusion way back in 2017. Note that Greenwood is basically one of the more laid-back parts of the Kansas City area.

Google Maps Street View
Google Maps Street View

But, hold on for a second. Let's talk about the turtles that also call Greenwood, Missouri home. On the Wikipedia page, it's one of the first things you see:

There are many species of snake that can be found in Greenwood. In the creek you can also find the common snapping turtle.

This brave soul has even taught his snapping turtle named Gizmo some tricks.

I found one of these bad boys in my driveway and he dang near took my finger off. So venture to the safe haven of Greenwood, Missouri if you must, but be careful around their turtles. The FBI doesn't track turtle crime there - yet.

Patrick Mahomes Missouri Home Now Available in Kansas City

More From 100.9 The Eagle, The Tri-States' Classic Rock Station