Scientists Claim Missouri Cow Farts are Killing the Planet

I know that scientists take this subject very seriously, but I do not. I cannot with a straight face tell you that Missouri cow farts are killing the planet, but that's what some scientists really do believe and I'll prove it.

A little personal backstory. While I grew up in a city, my grandma was a Missouri dairy farmer and I spent almost every Sunday there as a kid. My point is I was very accustomed to hanging out with cows. I can verify that cows have no manners when it comes to flatulence (translation - farting). They will let it rip with little to no warning and you better not be within 50 feet when it happens. That combined with the fact that I stopped maturing at age 12 (possibly younger) is likely why I'm laughing as I share this.

The Telegraph just shared a story (their exact words) "Inside the crazy race to stop cow farts and save the world". What's the problem? The methane from the cow flatulence is (allegedly) harming the atmosphere.

Why is this a problem for Missouri?

According to the USDA, there are 1.84 million cows in Missouri and all of them are farting. Don't ask me how I know. That means that Missouri cows alone could bring on the apocalypse in the most hilarious way possible.

Jeff Bezos, the Amazon super-billionaire, wants to rush a methane-killing vaccine out to the cows to stop the end of days. I'm laughing still, but the scientists are very serious about this cow farting issue.

I realize that these environmental issues have been studied by people that are much smarter than me, but I'd like to make the argument that cows in Missouri have been farting for centuries and we've survived. Surely there has to be a better way to spend our time than reducing flatulence. Surely.