10 Barely Understandable Things You’ll Hear in Missouri Every Day

I have what is known as Missouri speaking syndrome. It's the involuntary mouth reflex action where I blurt out barely understandable phrases that perplexes people who aren't from Missouri, but my neighbors know exactly what I'm talking about.

I saw this conversation on the Missouri sub-Reddit which is a typical experience for someone who suddenly relocates to Missouri and hears things they don't understand. Here are some personal favorites:

"Daggum" is when you're really mad, but you're also a person who does not cuss. There are variations where you can add emphasis like "Daggum It!".

I'm not sure why every outsider is mystified by "torlet". When I have to go to the bathroom, I use the torlet. What's the mystery? "Toe-lit" is also an acceptable utterance.

Missourian is a very efficient language. We can crash words into each other to make one word that says what we want to say. Instead of "Are you going", we can just say "Youins" and still communicate the same thing.

When someone asks how you're doing and you really want to be specific and not give them a general "alright" in Missouri, you utter "fair to middlin" to alert them that you're OK, but have issues you probably shouldn't discuss. Ask me a follow up to this question and you'll probably get a description of the rash.

This one I first heard from my dad who grew up in Frankford, Missouri. He said "I'm gonna learn ya" which was his warning that a teaching effort was about to happen. You "got learned" after the lesson was over.

This should be self-explanatory. Instead of "come here", it's the Missouri word crash of "comere". Not complicated.

Wife asks "did you get that chore done I asked you to?". I answer "no, but I was fixin to". It's Missouri procrastination basically.

No, you have not landed on a foreign planet. When you hear "jeet yet?", that's one Missourian asking another if they've had lunch, dinner, brunch or snack. Give us that snack and we'll stop asking this question.

This is Missourian for almost successful. Did you land that big fish you were talking about? "I pertineer had him in the boat, but he broke my line."

This is the most stern Missouri warning. If you hear this, a whooping is imminent if we learn later that you did lie to one of us.

Missouri Jargon
byu/Forestlordx33 inmissouri