So far, we’ve seen some of the best and the most absolutely absurd acts that this nation’s cities have to offer, so how can Tampa Bay, Florida top them all? We’re about to find out in these next two episodes of ‘America’s Got Talent,’ a reality competition that has everyone’s attention. 

After getting a glimpse of the swampland and the beautiful beaches of Tampa Bay, Florida, we start right off with an inspirational story. We’re introduced to Inspire The Fire, best described as an “urban Glee” whose main objective is to save the youth in the streets. Their outfits aren’t too appealing, and at first they do come off as too much like “Glee,” but once they go past the a cappella portion of their song  they truly shine. Have to admit, it is a rather inventive way to remix the classic song “Lean On Me,” and yes they’re advancing to the next round.

Hey look, it’s women in scantily clad clothing! The North Carolina Bikini Bombshells naturally get a standing ovation right off the bat, especially from Howard Stern. Even Howie is mesmerized, saying “Let’s not talk anymore, you need to dance.” But unfortunately they can’t impress anybody in the audience as they dish out lackluster dancing in hot shorts.

It’s time for the montage of horrible acts. We’re presented with a weird little dance troupe, a man who can cut hair with his “scissorhands,” A bearded burlesque dancer and a horrible rapper that shows us why we hate the term “bros.” Lastly we’re shown a so-so dancer who wishes he was Johnny Depp’s version of Don Juan de Marco. To make matters worse, Howie ends up dancing with him briefly and deeply regrets it afterwards when he has a hard time catching his breath.

It’s time to bring on All That!, and no we’re not talking about the 90s Nickelodeon kids version of SNL. It’s another dance troupe that integrates country music with tap dancing, believe it or not.. People over in Florida must love to dance.

Now we zoom past a couple of other talented acts that manage to make the cut that include Alicia, a hula hoop artist, a decent illusionist and yet another dance group that mixes together ballet with contemporary music. They’re all a lot better than Michael Griffin, an escape artist who wants Howard Stern to tie him up so he can go ahead and do his act. The act ends up taking forever to set up without the aide of an assistant and then doesn’t impress the minute he actually goes ahead with his escape portion of the act. He’s definitely not going to Vegas.

Let’s get away from the truly horrible and honor a great act: The Distinguished Men of Brass. They perform a wide variety of songs along with some small dance moves. “There’s one word to describe watching you, and that is fun!” says Howie. Sharon squawks “All of your hard work has paid off.” They too have their sad-sack story of triumphing over adversity, and they’re heading straight on to Vegas.

Last but never least is Ulysses, a guy with a Cosby sweater who’s singing the Loveboat song. His voice is pretty cool and deep but it is a rather silly song to perform in order to try and win over the judges. He gets a no from Howard who’s ripping him a new one. Howie says yes and Sharon decides that he’s moving forward to the next round. Not sure exactly how a singer like him can top his act but okay, let’s see what else he can dish out in Vegas.

We’re not done yet with Tampa Bay, Florida. Tomorrow night we’ll be checking out several more acts before Howard, Sharon and Howie mozy on over to the next city to see who deserves the million dollars in ‘America’s Got Talent.’

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